THE FEMALE DECODER
You already feel something’s off.
You’re just too close to see it clearly.That’s where I come in.I TRANSLATE WOMEN.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
Clarity, not chaos.
The Female Decoder
by Zowie
Sometimes you don’t need advice.
You need clarity.I help you understand what’s really going on — emotionally, energetically, and practically — so you can stop second-guessing yourself and move forward with confidence.This isn’t therapy.
This isn’t coaching.
This is translation.
For people who are:
• Overthinking texts, behaviour, or mixed signals
• Stuck in emotional loops
• Unsure whether to stay, go, speak, or walk away
• Tired of guessing what something means
HOW IT WORKS
One question. One clear answer.
You send:
• One situation
• One question
• Up to 3 short paragraphs of context
You Get;
• A thoughtful, honest response
• No judgement
• No fluffWHAT YOU GET• Clear perspective
• Emotional translation
• A grounded, human response
• Something you can actually act onThis is clarity — not comfort.
Price £50
Response time: 48–72 hours
This is a contained service.
I respond when I’m rested and clear — so you get my best thinking.No ongoing messaging.
No emergency support.
Just clarity.
You don’t need more opinions.
You need clarityBOOK A DECODEPrivate.
Confidential.
Judgement-free.
ABOUT ME
I’m Zowie — the woman people come to when they’re stuck in their own head.I don’t do therapy, coaching, or endless back-and-forth.
I translate what’s really going on — emotionally, energetically, and practically — so you can see your situation clearly and decide your next move with confidence.People come to me when something feels off…
A relationship. A dynamic. A message. A silence.I listen, cut through the noise, and give you an honest, grounded perspective — without judgement, fluff, or drama.This isn’t about fixing you.
It’s about helping you see clearly again.
FAQIs this therapy or coaching?
No. This is a one-off clarity service — not ongoing support or therapy.How long does it take?
You’ll receive your response within 48–72 hours.What do I get?
One clear breakdown of your situation, one paragraph of grounded advice, and two suggested text responses (where relevant).Can I ask follow-up questions?
No. This is a contained service designed to give you clarity in one go.Is this confidential?
Completely. Everything you share stays private.What if I’m in crisis?
This service isn’t suitable for emergencies or mental health crises. Please seek appropriate support if you need immediate help.
This is a clarity and perspective service and does not replace therapy, counselling, or professional mental health support.